委屈

Today is a very unhappy day. Before the day ends, I wanna blog about what happen, my feelings and thoughts. After today, I should put it behind or at least not be pissed off by it anymore.

This is how the story goes...

My daily job used to be just running reports. Later on, an inbox (let's call it Inbox A) was under my in charge. So recently, inbox A was taken out from my daily job scope and a new work, creating quotation/ quotes (temporary, not a long term kind of work) came under my part. This work was passed to me YESTERDAY, 16 July. It was said as urgent BUT no deadline was given to me. I ASKED. 

SOOoooo....

My colleague (Co. A) was on leave on 16 July, Monday and sick today. Then, my Korean colleague's laptop was spoilt Monday morning and he took half day off in the afternoon AND his laptop was still down today, Tuesday morning. Therefore, leaving the temp staff and me running ALL reports and backing up another Inbox which Co. A is taking care of. On top of that, I've the quotes to do.

There were so many emails coming in requesting for reports and it's impossible for the temp staff to complete everything and we HAVE to reply within 48hrs for each email. Of course, I helped out and I was busy for whole of Monday running reports non-stop. I was still clearing emails for reports until this afternoon 2pm and my AU co asked me about the quotes which  I don't even have the time to start doing it. 

THIS IS WHEN SHE STARTED TELLING MY MANAGER......

emails started flooding in my mailbox from manager asking what i've been doing...!

WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING?! you think I'm slacking! Seriously?! I'm running reports non stop and there you are asking what I'm doing, suspecting if I'm doing my job?! Come on.. shouldn't you have at least some trust in your subordinate that she is working? 

I'm the first to complete the first round of quotes among the rest. Working my ass off just to get such comments?! Even when I tried explaining, (colleagues are away and etc..) you simply mention about priority. IF the quotes are the priority then why not give me a deadline?! URGENT but NO DEADLINE sounds contradicting, don't you think so?

The work was given on Monday and I intend to start working on it on Tuesday afternoon since my Korean co is back in the noon. Is this even too late?! 

I feel so not appreciated.

Even ever Co. A has too much work on hand, I'll try to help with some "investigation" work and she will reply to those emails. When my AU co knows about this, she will start asking "Why am I doing this?" Why can't I help? I don't get it la. I have the time to share the workload of my co, what's wrong? TELL ME! 

And last week, the AU co used the word "INSTRUCTED" on me. FYI, you are my colleague, not manager or team lead. Why are you using such word? A little harsh and inappropriate right? Instruct is like you are commanding me to do this... Just say "mentioned" la.

My blood was boiling this afternoon and I felt I could cry out anytime. 

The comments from my manager is not doing justice to the hardwork I put in.

But what to do... I still got a whole chunk of work waiting for me. 

I'm telling myself this is a PAST. I need to forget it. But the 委屈 feeling is sooo strong. Is the 委屈 feeling making me feel like crying... I need to stay tough!!! STAY STRONG!

Ok, enough of ranting and story ended. Going to get a good rest and start a new & happy day tmr!

Bye~